dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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