just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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