Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
