he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
