Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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