After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
