OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
