is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Randomize
