no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
