really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize