New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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