My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize