You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
