I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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