Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
