We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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