I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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