she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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