mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
