sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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