there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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