East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
you traded sex for a burrito?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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