dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Randomize
