To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
