I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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