capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
