I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
