I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize