I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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