Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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