He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
