Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize