is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize