What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
why is half of my head shaved?
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