you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
smell my finger.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
