someone threw a dead crab at me
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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