After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
is wine microwaveable?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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