I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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