so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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