I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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