My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Let's get the cat blown out
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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