fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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