I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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