She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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