...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Randomize
