If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
The best revenge is premature balding
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
