i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
