I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
