just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
