yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
