Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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