I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
In other news, I just burned my penis
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
