I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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