I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
