i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize