Who wears a wallet chain?!
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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