how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I need a beard to bite.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
