can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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