New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
