We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
birth control should be required to get into college
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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