dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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