he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
