i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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