can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
