So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I believe in your delicious
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
