what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
