i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Randomize
