i think my mom watched the whole time
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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