im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
